Εδώ παραθέτω μερικές από τις ατάκες του που είναι καλύτερες στα Αγγλικά (χάνουν πολύ στη μετάφραση) και γι' αυτό το λόγο δεν τις έχω συμπεριλάβει:
- If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
- Electricity is really just organized lightning.
- Always do whatever' s next.
- Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
- Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
- In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
- I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
- Think off-center.